ah…the Late August Blehs. hot, humid, thunderstorms, traffic, dead skunk smells, sweat. i hate this time of year. its like summer's over ripe and ready to rot.
haven't posted pictures or much else lately 'cause i got the LABs. however, this past weekend i decided to treat myself nice for a change and spent the past few days doing just that.
i went to two movies over the weekend, Duece Bigalow: European Gigalow, and The 40 Year Old Virgin. both films are very funny. Bigelow's chuckles come from that low end humor area--lots of it here, but Schneider is great, and his character, at heart, is a sweetie. The Virgin movie was just as funny, but sans most toilet jokes. its not mean-spirited and the title character is not as nerdy as you'd think, his ideals on sex and love are surprisingly pure. this movie's ending is over the top, unexpected, and just fucking funny.
yesterday i left work early and met my friend in Chinatown NYC for dinner. had some trouble with the bus and subway--ended up getting off the backed up bus at the javits center instead of port authority, then found myself on a "V" train that was rerouted to the "C' train tracks and had a mini NYC subway odyssey trying to get to Canal Street.
we went to our favorite restaurant there, Hep Kee--its underground, but has the BEST food--makes the usual chinese take out look like shit. i had chinese broccoli in oyster sauce, she had singapore angelhair curried lo mein, and we split some mussels in black bean pepper sauce. delicious. then we got some bubble tea for dessert. i love the tapioca balls.
we walked around Chinatown and Tribeca then took the Path out. very nice evening, and a nice delayed ending to a restful and peaceful weekend [for once]. of course today things are back to the Late August Blehs, but at least i had a good weekend.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
mystic, confessor, stigmatic
although i'm not much for saints, padre pio is an exception. i was skeptical of him until reading some of his letters. truly this guy was a holy man. for 50 years he suffered the five wounds of the crucifixion, known as "stigmata". he suffered physically every day, and he also suffered in his spiritual life as well. thru his writings it becomes clear that during his endurance of stigmata, he also experienced the time Christ spent on the cross, feeling separated from God—a feeling quite difficult to put into words.
in octobe 2001 i went with a church group to visit the padre pio shrine in pennsylvania, where there is a class #1 relic of the padre—one of the fingerless gloves he wore to cover the hole in his hand. as skeptical as i am, that day i had a quite mystical experience when i was allowed to touch this relic. something i can't really put into words. but it was powerful.
after this i decided to read some of what padre pio preached and was amazed—not only at his stigmata and suffering, but of the power of his words. i was amazed that despite his long suffering, he never waivered in his devotion to Jesus. his faith was never shaken no matter what happened.
many of the monks in his convent were jealous of him, and caused him constant problems of one sort or another. many of the monks thought that padre pio was unworthy of the stigmata, thinking that they instead should have it, since they thought they were 'holier'. they would get him into trouble, lie behind his back, have the director punish him for things he hadn't done. but in the end, pio never fought back, he accepted all the ill will his enemies gave him and prayed to God to forgive them. in other words, padre pio tried to live as Jesus asked us to, which is a very difficult thing to do.
i've been reading this book "Padre Pio's Words of Hope" Edited by Eileen Dunn Bertanzetti [(c) 1999 by Our Sunday Visitor Publishing, ISBN 0-87973-694-1]. its a collection of letters pio wrote back to people in answer to their questions. here is a quote:
its a great book, each topic is only one page. topics range from "Burdens", "Love", "Courage" to "Cross", "Rejected by God", and "Sin". padre pio's words are like those of the middle age mystics, such as "The Imitation of Christ", shunning the feel-good pseudo-religions of today. his words address a variety of topics from small to very troubling, and always with love. its almost as he is writing letters to the reader.
obviously he's a catholic, but don't be turned off by a few letters about Mary etc., this book is filled with spiritual nourishment that any Christian can use. by reading this and other of pio's writings i am just amazed that such a holy man managed to be born in the horrible 20th century that just passed, that God would provide, even in these times, someone with the integrity, humility, and faith of padre pio. if you're spiritually inclined and searching for something different, look him up. you might be surprised.
in octobe 2001 i went with a church group to visit the padre pio shrine in pennsylvania, where there is a class #1 relic of the padre—one of the fingerless gloves he wore to cover the hole in his hand. as skeptical as i am, that day i had a quite mystical experience when i was allowed to touch this relic. something i can't really put into words. but it was powerful.
after this i decided to read some of what padre pio preached and was amazed—not only at his stigmata and suffering, but of the power of his words. i was amazed that despite his long suffering, he never waivered in his devotion to Jesus. his faith was never shaken no matter what happened.
many of the monks in his convent were jealous of him, and caused him constant problems of one sort or another. many of the monks thought that padre pio was unworthy of the stigmata, thinking that they instead should have it, since they thought they were 'holier'. they would get him into trouble, lie behind his back, have the director punish him for things he hadn't done. but in the end, pio never fought back, he accepted all the ill will his enemies gave him and prayed to God to forgive them. in other words, padre pio tried to live as Jesus asked us to, which is a very difficult thing to do.
i've been reading this book "Padre Pio's Words of Hope" Edited by Eileen Dunn Bertanzetti [(c) 1999 by Our Sunday Visitor Publishing, ISBN 0-87973-694-1]. its a collection of letters pio wrote back to people in answer to their questions. here is a quote:
Paradise
Luke 23:42-4: "Then he said, 'Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.' He replied, 'Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.' "
But sometimes in my struggles I wonder if I'll ever get to paradise.
Padre Pio's assurance: "How many tears and groans I send up to heaven in order to be set free [from my struggles]. But no matter, I will never tire of praying to Jesus. It is true that my prayers deserve punishment rather than reward, for I have offended Jesus only too often by my innumerable sins; but in the end he will be moved by pity for me and with either take me out of the world and call me to himself, or else he will set me free."
"Again at night when I close my eyes, the veil is lifted and I see paradise open up before me; and gladdened by this vision, I sleep with a smile of sweet beatitude on my lips and perfectly tranquil countenance, waiting for the little companion [guardian angel] of my childhood to come to waken me, so that we may sing together the morning praises to the beloved of our hearts."
Lord, thank you for the promise of paradise for those who believe in you. If left to myself and my struggles, I would never reach heaven. But "for God all things are possible." Amen.
its a great book, each topic is only one page. topics range from "Burdens", "Love", "Courage" to "Cross", "Rejected by God", and "Sin". padre pio's words are like those of the middle age mystics, such as "The Imitation of Christ", shunning the feel-good pseudo-religions of today. his words address a variety of topics from small to very troubling, and always with love. its almost as he is writing letters to the reader.
obviously he's a catholic, but don't be turned off by a few letters about Mary etc., this book is filled with spiritual nourishment that any Christian can use. by reading this and other of pio's writings i am just amazed that such a holy man managed to be born in the horrible 20th century that just passed, that God would provide, even in these times, someone with the integrity, humility, and faith of padre pio. if you're spiritually inclined and searching for something different, look him up. you might be surprised.
Friday, August 12, 2005
the false republican job market
abcnews.com has online forums for readers. sometimes i participate, other times i just read. today i was reading a threat for a topic called "Where Are The USA Careers?". one post in particular, from someone named "gtbdave" summed it up perfectly:
what a coincidence the last huge recession/shitty job market was 1990-1993, when GWBush's pinhead dad was in office. remember that recession? just as shitty as this one, but with more media coverage. so what's changed? —could it be that we hear less about the current crappy job situation because now ALL the media outlets are owned by huge conglomerates run by republican pals of this right-wing, narrowminded, power-hungry administration? hmmm...
and what about oil prices? do you feel pinched at the pump?....did you vote republican? if "Yes", then you shouldn't be surprised—W and Dick are both oil industry friends, with their interests and wallets lined up straight away with the greedy, self-absorbed oil industry. their making more money than ever!!! and chortling all the way to the bank about the stupid, braindead middle class morons who voted them into office. think about that the next time you're staring at your faded Bush/Cheney bumper sticker while filling up for $3 a gallon you fucking Republican moron.
if you didn't vote for Bush and Dick you probably get that dazed feeling as we all watch these maggots suck the very lifeblood from this great country to fulfill their destructive agendas, while waiving american flags over the victims of their selfishness. i just hope that some of the lugheads who fell for this administration's sucker punches will wise up before 2008. so if you're one of them and make less than 100K, please...be honest with yourself: do you really think things are getting better? has your quality of life improved? or has it worsened?
Republicans like to blame Unions and Social programs for the dismal job market, but what correlates with the development of a dismal job market is globalization, rotten trade deals, and the Feds policies of raising interest rates when job growth develops plus the Feds policy of raising interest rates when GDP growth exceeds 3% or so. It is in the republican parties interest to have a labor surplus in order to manipulate the labor market to provide for a continuous supply of cheap labor, and to reduce any pressure for higher wages and salaries. They are in favor of flooding the labor market with immigrants, legal and illegal, to accomplish this. A local news item (OKC) suggested two areas for non-college grads, that was cooking school and auto mechanic, cooking school grads are likely working at MacDonalds and mechanic grads are likely at Walmart, changing oil. College grads still have the service fields for jobs the other 75%, who are not college grads, have slim pickings indeed. The only solution I see is that if you work for a wage or salary, make it an issue next time you vote and vote for a democrat.thanks gtbdave! i couldn't have explained it better myself.
what a coincidence the last huge recession/shitty job market was 1990-1993, when GWBush's pinhead dad was in office. remember that recession? just as shitty as this one, but with more media coverage. so what's changed? —could it be that we hear less about the current crappy job situation because now ALL the media outlets are owned by huge conglomerates run by republican pals of this right-wing, narrowminded, power-hungry administration? hmmm...
and what about oil prices? do you feel pinched at the pump?....did you vote republican? if "Yes", then you shouldn't be surprised—W and Dick are both oil industry friends, with their interests and wallets lined up straight away with the greedy, self-absorbed oil industry. their making more money than ever!!! and chortling all the way to the bank about the stupid, braindead middle class morons who voted them into office. think about that the next time you're staring at your faded Bush/Cheney bumper sticker while filling up for $3 a gallon you fucking Republican moron.
if you didn't vote for Bush and Dick you probably get that dazed feeling as we all watch these maggots suck the very lifeblood from this great country to fulfill their destructive agendas, while waiving american flags over the victims of their selfishness. i just hope that some of the lugheads who fell for this administration's sucker punches will wise up before 2008. so if you're one of them and make less than 100K, please...be honest with yourself: do you really think things are getting better? has your quality of life improved? or has it worsened?
Friday, August 05, 2005
toenail saga, part 4
i've been applying the vicks every night for the past three weeks. up until last week the nail was still thick and discolored. then over this past weekend i noticed i could see my pink nailbed thru the infected nail, and the thick flaky stuff was gone and my nail's thickness was back to normal. just as the message boards had said, the vapor rub did the trick. i'm cured!
i've decided to keep up my efforts into September for good measure. no other toenails were affected, and i still have my healthy liver, and senses of taste and smell.
the moral of this little story is: those pharmaceutical consumer ads with the cute CGI thingies are misleading. before taking any medication, don't trust your MD will warn you--no, most of them don't care the least. instead, get online and research it yourself. you'll be much happier you did.
i've decided to keep up my efforts into September for good measure. no other toenails were affected, and i still have my healthy liver, and senses of taste and smell.
the moral of this little story is: those pharmaceutical consumer ads with the cute CGI thingies are misleading. before taking any medication, don't trust your MD will warn you--no, most of them don't care the least. instead, get online and research it yourself. you'll be much happier you did.
toenail saga, part 3
thru reading i discovered that beyond the home remedy ingredients, there were two traits needed to self cure the toe fungus: cleanliness and consistency. the toenail had to be washed 2X a day. all medicine or remedies also had to be applied 2Xs a day, every day. no missing a day because the fungus could spread to newly healthy parts of the toenail.
so i started out with OTC antifungal liquid, Rite Aid brand, toothbrush, and bandaids. i scrubbed the nail w/the toothbrush in the morning and night, painted on the antifungal liquid, and wrapped the toe in a bandaid. i did this for a month with almost no improvement. so i went back online to google more remedies and along the way did a search for lamasil side effects and was completely shocked at what i found. not only could the lamasil pills cause irreversible liver damage, even to a healthy liver, but it also removed the senses of taste and smell--and many times these senses wouldn't return when the lamisil pill was stopped. the liver damage thing was scary too--because sometimes it took 6 mths after the pill is stopped for the liver damage to really manifest, and then its too late. A few people have died from using lamasil tablets. that did it for me. no lamisil tablets for fear of the nasty irreversible side effects that the MDs don't tell you about.
the next day i got a message from my doctor that the fungus test was positive and i should come in for my prescription. yeah right. i called and said i was "exploring alternate solutions" to my problem and would get back to them.
one health-topic message board i went to was moderated by an MD. everytime someone mentioned various home remedies for toenail fungus, the MD would butt in and reiterate that home remedies NEVER WORK. he even ridiculed some of them, yet people would respond back to him telling him that they got nothing to lose, and no money or health insurance, so they were going to try it anyway.
i added antifungal foot powder, and AM vinegar soaks at the beginning of July. by July 12th the toe started to slightly look better. i went back to the drugstore and got more home remedies, a nail file to file down the thick ugly nail and--the biggie, the one i was skeptical of: Vicks Vapor Rub.
so i started out with OTC antifungal liquid, Rite Aid brand, toothbrush, and bandaids. i scrubbed the nail w/the toothbrush in the morning and night, painted on the antifungal liquid, and wrapped the toe in a bandaid. i did this for a month with almost no improvement. so i went back online to google more remedies and along the way did a search for lamasil side effects and was completely shocked at what i found. not only could the lamasil pills cause irreversible liver damage, even to a healthy liver, but it also removed the senses of taste and smell--and many times these senses wouldn't return when the lamisil pill was stopped. the liver damage thing was scary too--because sometimes it took 6 mths after the pill is stopped for the liver damage to really manifest, and then its too late. A few people have died from using lamasil tablets. that did it for me. no lamisil tablets for fear of the nasty irreversible side effects that the MDs don't tell you about.
the next day i got a message from my doctor that the fungus test was positive and i should come in for my prescription. yeah right. i called and said i was "exploring alternate solutions" to my problem and would get back to them.
one health-topic message board i went to was moderated by an MD. everytime someone mentioned various home remedies for toenail fungus, the MD would butt in and reiterate that home remedies NEVER WORK. he even ridiculed some of them, yet people would respond back to him telling him that they got nothing to lose, and no money or health insurance, so they were going to try it anyway.
i added antifungal foot powder, and AM vinegar soaks at the beginning of July. by July 12th the toe started to slightly look better. i went back to the drugstore and got more home remedies, a nail file to file down the thick ugly nail and--the biggie, the one i was skeptical of: Vicks Vapor Rub.
digger the dermaphadyte, part 2
two days before my friend's wedding i went to the doctor to get a toe diagnosis, wanting to make sure my nail wasn't infected with something more serious than fungus. i'd also been duped by the cute Lamasil TV ads--the ones with "digger the dermaphadyte" who digs under toenails and gets flustered when a giant lamasil pill rolls into the nail bed. all i know is i wanted the gross yellow infected nail fungus off my toe.
the doctor visually confirmed that my toe probably had the fungus. i asked what i can do about it. the doctor mentioned the lamasil pill and a medicinal "shellack" called penlac, which i'd have to apply for a YEAR. i opted for the pill, expecting a prescription. instead the doctor told me that my health insurance would need a confirming fungus culture to have lamasil prescribed, and then also a liver blood test would need to be performed. the culture would take 30-60 days and i'd have to wait. i got frustrated--all this over a toe fungus infection?
i opted for the culture, and helped the MD snip off some of the gross flaky yellow toenail. then i took the liver blood test, and the med tech screwed up and left me with a large black bruise on my left arm, which i had to conceal with bandaids at the wedding.
before left i asked the doctor if there was anything else i could do while waiting the 30-60 days for the results. i didn't want the infection to spread, and supposedly it spreads easily. the doctor had no suggestions--like more a 'who cares?' attitude. i didn't like it.
so i went home and went online to see what others do in such a situation...and what do they do? the self administer home remedies of course. everything from OTC fungus liquids, vinegar soaks, tea tree oil, to stronger things such as bleach and Vicks Vapor Rub [i'm not kidding].
on june 3rd i declared war on my toe's disgusting fungus.
the doctor visually confirmed that my toe probably had the fungus. i asked what i can do about it. the doctor mentioned the lamasil pill and a medicinal "shellack" called penlac, which i'd have to apply for a YEAR. i opted for the pill, expecting a prescription. instead the doctor told me that my health insurance would need a confirming fungus culture to have lamasil prescribed, and then also a liver blood test would need to be performed. the culture would take 30-60 days and i'd have to wait. i got frustrated--all this over a toe fungus infection?
i opted for the culture, and helped the MD snip off some of the gross flaky yellow toenail. then i took the liver blood test, and the med tech screwed up and left me with a large black bruise on my left arm, which i had to conceal with bandaids at the wedding.
before left i asked the doctor if there was anything else i could do while waiting the 30-60 days for the results. i didn't want the infection to spread, and supposedly it spreads easily. the doctor had no suggestions--like more a 'who cares?' attitude. i didn't like it.
so i went home and went online to see what others do in such a situation...and what do they do? the self administer home remedies of course. everything from OTC fungus liquids, vinegar soaks, tea tree oil, to stronger things such as bleach and Vicks Vapor Rub [i'm not kidding].
on june 3rd i declared war on my toe's disgusting fungus.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
digger the dermaphadyte
in may i contracted a [ew!] toenail infection on the toe next to my big toe on my left foot. ewww. right before my friend's wedding and the open-toed ugly overpriced shoes i had to wear. the toenail was yellow, very very thick and very scaly. disgusting. i googled it and found it can be caught by going barefoot in gym locker rooms, and recently i'd been showering at my gym at least once a week and walked barefoot on the gross tile floor. so this was my fault. still, i had no idea what to do about it and was panicked over it spreading to my other toenails and foot.
astrologically, pisces "rules" the feet--two fish, two feet--eventhough, ironically, fish have no feet!. but anyway, most sun sign pisces always have something good or bad going on with their feet. a few years ago i had a ganglion cyst on the top of my right foot and had it drained. disgusting. then i had a corn that hurt like hell on my right foot below the pinky toe that i finally dug out myself with a pair of scissors. eiiiww! then i got an awwwesome case of athlete's foot a couple summers ago, that caused the bottom of my feet to resemble red raisins and itched like hell. after curing that i started "powdering" my feet and washing them a few times a day.
i'm also a stickler about shoes. although i'm a cheap ass where most apparel is concerned [last weekend i bought 2 teeshirts for $1 at RiteAid], i can't handle cheap shoes or socks. i've spent upwards of $150 for decent sneakers and boots, plus only nike socks [they're the best] to keep my feet happy. feet are often totally ignored until there's a problem. and when feet have a problem, your whole body sort of has a problem sometimes.
if you know a pisces, ask them about their feet! i'm certain they'll have some oddball story to tell.
astrologically, pisces "rules" the feet--two fish, two feet--eventhough, ironically, fish have no feet!. but anyway, most sun sign pisces always have something good or bad going on with their feet. a few years ago i had a ganglion cyst on the top of my right foot and had it drained. disgusting. then i had a corn that hurt like hell on my right foot below the pinky toe that i finally dug out myself with a pair of scissors. eiiiww! then i got an awwwesome case of athlete's foot a couple summers ago, that caused the bottom of my feet to resemble red raisins and itched like hell. after curing that i started "powdering" my feet and washing them a few times a day.
i'm also a stickler about shoes. although i'm a cheap ass where most apparel is concerned [last weekend i bought 2 teeshirts for $1 at RiteAid], i can't handle cheap shoes or socks. i've spent upwards of $150 for decent sneakers and boots, plus only nike socks [they're the best] to keep my feet happy. feet are often totally ignored until there's a problem. and when feet have a problem, your whole body sort of has a problem sometimes.
if you know a pisces, ask them about their feet! i'm certain they'll have some oddball story to tell.
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