oh its friday

haven't posted in a while. i was sick and busy. i've had an ongoing ear infection since january. ear infections are nasty shit. my PCP just kept prescribing different antibiotics without a clue. it was getting annoying. finally i went back to my ENT, and while he checked the tube in my left ear [it was blocked], he prescribed a fruitsalad of pharmaceuticals to get the infection out of my right ear. i'm finally ending the nasal steroids tommorrow, but i'll be on the antibiotics for another week, making this the longest i've ever taken one antibiotic [1 month]. i've been eating yogurt and nightly experience my stomach turning from all the meds. blech.

then there was the bridal shower. keeping trak of the rsvps, designing its "look", finding and buying the right decorations, coordinating, blah blah. it went off without a hitch, my friend, the bride, was very happy. i was exhausted after that weekend. blech.

this monday i went for my bridesmaids dress fitting, shoes, and a clutch. the fitting was ridiculous, they overbooked like 20 people at one time and we were all crammed into this small dressing room, and you get fitted infront of the other disgruntled customers. i think my dress is hideous and reminds me of a horrible cowled dress my mom made me wear to some pointless family function when i was 12. what a racket--even the shoes ["made in china"] were grossly overpriced, but hey, they dye them for free. sure. the dye fee is worked into the bloated purchase price. blech.

how about that new beer garden pope? i'm 1/2 polish [yessir] and i must admit i liked john paul II. even though he travelled the world, he was so culturally polish. john paul II was elected pontiff when i was a little kid. at that time polish jokes were all the rage. i remember a tent exhibit at the summer polska festival featuring all the mean polish joke paraphenalia, to show polish people they were being made fun of. this was the 70s--very backwards cultural time i think. i remember being made fun of at school for my ethnicity [i am also half russian]--kids calling me a 'commie pollack'--when that happens you feel ashamed for what you should be proud of. then john paul II was elected, showing the world a courageous, funny, sweet and humble polish man and soon the polish joke crap kind of faded into the cultural background. i started to feel good about my polish ethnicity. a decade later, peristroka and gorbachov helped me feel good about my russian half.

just stressful

things have gotten way too stressful lately, especially where my friend's wedding is concerned. her bridal shower is this weekend, and i've been trying to keep trak of RSVPs and decorations and other things. people are so rude--my friend's sister had to call lots of the invites since almost half didn't respond at all, and now today i got a flood of late calls. i just don't understand people's mindsets.

i bought decorations and plates etc yesterday based on our old attendee estimate and now i have to go buy more. so fucking irritating. then i've got to get my ugly fucking bridesmaid dress fitted in a couple of weeks, and i have to bring "the shoes i'm going to wear". i don't have any shoes i'm going to wear, and have no idea where to get shoes. this whole thing is pissing me off. i'm a size 11 women's shoe, i have big fucking feet. i didn't request big feet but i have them. having an 11 size for women's shoes is like having a house with no indoor plumbing. finding shoes in my size is horrible and i usually order on the internet. that's for normal shoes. but now i've got to waste time investigating where to get butt-fucking ugly shoes that will either be dyed [how inconvenient] or a certain color. and i have to be able to walk in them all day. i'm glad this is the only friend i have who wants to get married, i couldn't stand doing this again.

its not that i don't want to be there for my friend--i do, but all this idiotic detailed stuff is driving me nuts, and there's other parts of this i'm not comfortable with either and i am trying to keep it to my self and its getting difficult. this whole thing just makes me want to fucking scream.